Somebody help me! Please!!

When I got home I started emailing people I had met at the conference and asking a lot of questions. I just wanted help! It wasn't but a week when Joel had one of his tantrums/fits. Addison was crying and I went to make her a bottle. When I went into the kitchen to make her bottle I heard her shrill cry. I knew something was up. Joel came in and told me that he had done something to Addy. After I had gotten Addy off the floor and somewhere safe, I had him show me what he did to her. He had yanked her arms so hard it pulled her up and out of her car seat, where I had put her. I sent him to his room so that I could calm/quiet the baby. After the baby had calmed down I went into his room to talk to him. He told me he had wanted her to be quiet and she wouldn't. He said he was trying to hurt the baby. At this point I had been advised by the school that I was required to get Joel counseling/help, so I had his teachers documenting every anger outburst/tantrum. I felt like I needed Joel's pediatrician to know what happened as well as making sure the baby was ok. I had just been in there two weeks prior crying about how he's not normal, like the doctor had kept telling me, and that I don't know what else to do. I wanted him to document it that Joel had admitting to wanting to hurt the baby and also that he actually did succeed at hurting the baby. When I left they had told me they would do referral, if needed. I knew now that we have to get him on Medicaid and it was time to stop waiting for Medicaid to get their acts together. (I had turned in my application two weeks prior).